Let’s bring back dating!

Have you heard of the three p’s to dating? A date should be planned, paid for, and paired off. Sadly, most of the college kids that are dating now are using the two h’s, hanging out, or hooking up. I was dating not that long ago, and this style of “dating” or meeting someone has been around for a few years. It slowly gets worse overtime and the traditional idea of dating has gone out the window. It is sad, I prefer the traditional way to date and I don’t want my future kids to never get that experience. It is so much better to get to know someone, and find out what you want in your future spouse if you go on dates that utilize the three p’s.

Girls, when a guys asks you out and then says, “So what do you want to do?”, it’s a bit frustrating and a total let down. If a guy asks you out and has a plan, and tells you how to dress for it, or prepare for it, then the date is already more thoughtful. This is a guy that you can tell put time into it and is trying to win you over. He may have even planned something he knows you like because he listens. I had a guy ask me out once, where he reserved the dance room and wanted me to teach him to dance because he knows how much I love it. It was so thoughtful, creative and I had the best time! He is not my husband because there were different things that didn’t work with us, that I slowly got to realize as we went on dates. We didn’t just hook up though, or I wouldn’t have found out what worked and what didn’t there. I have learned from each guy I have dated, qualities that I needed in a guy versus wanted and what I couldn’t stand.  

This helped a lot when it came to choose who I was going to marry. I had gone on dates with someone that saw a future between us long term and I was getting to know someone I met years previous. The funny thing was, the guy I had gone on dates with already wasn’t what I was looking for, I didn’t want to be rash but I couldn’t see it long term as much as I tried. I knew there were some things I needed in the relationship that he couldn’t give me based on previous dating experiences. I already was seeing a lot of the qualities I was looking for in someone else that I hadn’t even gone out with but was talking to. When he and I eventually started to date, he continued to show qualities I needed in a relationship to make it work. I crushed pretty hard on him pretty quick, but I knew that I needed to date him long enough to really know if we worked and could work long term. Dating is not just for fun, it should be fun for you, but it is really about learning what works and learning about other people to find out what you can deal with and what you can’t.

Finding guys to go on dates with doesn’t have to be hard either. Usually guys are talented at something or they have an interest in something. If you ask them about it or maybe ask them to teach you how to do it, that will usually end up in a date. It may even be about having something in common and talking to the other person about that. Once you have talked to each other, its easier to ask the other person out because they have already showed that they are approachable. Going on a date with someone doesn’t have to be a huge deal either. While having a date that is planned out is nice, some casual dates really help to get things going. When someone asks what you are up to, don’t give them a list, tell them when you’re free to spend time with them. Invite someone to go hiking because you want some fresh air. Dates can be casual and that can be a good thing as you’re just dating around. When you start to date someone that is when you want the three p’s to be there, to show the interest and care each other is putting into the relationship. Dating does not have to be scary, just get talking to people and don’t put pressure on them that a date means marriage, I have had that experience and it 100% backfired for them. I felt pinned down and really uncomfortable. Casual dating will lead to finding someone you want to date with the three p’s. Hanging out and hooking up never worked for me or anyone I know, neither has putting the pressure on the first date to find out it you’re getting married to them. Take your time, learn about each other and date the right way. Let’s bring back traditional dating people!!